Girl, you dead.

I have to say that I respect the cojones that M had today to take K's earring hostage. She must have been drunk with blood lust from making Silpada sales when she thought this one up. Not to mention that Jingles with Big Boobs had a hand in it as well. Still, if I've learned anything in my 28 years of fast living it's that one must never and I mean NEVER piss off The Kugo. Those bitches are fast, ruthless, and thorough. So much so that I'm actually typing this blog from an undisclosed location in Southern Mexico. So, after I found out about the scheme I took M out to get lunch and tried to convince her to abort! Instead, I found myself drawn into her web of extortion and I played along. But, The Kugo always has the last laugh. Soon, we regreted the folly of our actions. Our offices were pillaged, our decorative stuffed animals were maimed, and our wall decorations scattered across the office. I ran for my life.

I would have taken pictures of the carnage but it was too graphic and I had to get out fast. Maybe I'll see M again, maybe not. But at least we can continue our blog in exile...it's all we have left.

Dear Big Red, We Found Your Rim.

On our walk back from Wendy's today Fast Eddie, as K would call him, and I found a new rim for Big Red's bike.

M

Who Wears Short Shorts?

I would just like to say I am very excited because Pete Yorn is on Conan right now (but that is not why I started this blog). Siggghhh. Today I realized I must look too old to be in a "trendy" store. I have been needing new shorts since like forever ago, so I finally make a stop at the store I got my last favorite pair of shorts. I have one pair in hand and then the sales girl is like "we have longer shorts up front". In my head I am thinking WHAT THE FREAK! Do I look too old to wear short shorts? I wasnt out searching for the shortest pair I could find to ride up my business. It wasnt like I walked out of the dressing room wearing them. I was so pissed I wanted to be like "YOU'RE LIKE 30 AND YOU WORK HERE!" But instead I got discourged, tried a pair of jeans on, and walked next door and bought the first pair of shorts that came down to my knees. The crappiest part about it was that I didnt want knee length shorts. I was aware of what happened and somehow that 30 y/o, wanna be trendy store worker got to me even though I knew better. I was so confused after the whole ordeal that I think I mistakenly bought a grandma bra as well. Now I sit in my knee length shorts and grandma bra wondering how it all happened.